:: a quick detour: It's officially been two years since I returned from Africa and I still have multiple unfinished journal entries on my time there… which I suppose pretty accurately reflects my thoughts concerning it… still unresolved. My apologies to those who so faithfully read all my old blogs and asked why I never updated the Uganda one…. Ironically, Brazil has inspired some further, contributing thoughts to my time two years ago, and hopefully, sooner than later, I will finally "publish" those thoughts (in part, on the crazy chance someone still cares, and in large, because it will force me through old unresolved thoughts.) Partly, I think my failure to write it all out has prevented me from adequately processing it.... so maybe youre reading my own guilty conscience for leaving it unfinished... But either way, check back soon for some good pictures, good stories, and some difficult lessons learned there... ::
For now…. BRAZIL!!!
so i titled this round 2, because when i was 4, my wonderfully crazy mother signed herself up for a 6-month mission trip with Y.W.A.M. (Youth With A Mission) all over south and central america. she was a young, single mom who had the wild idea of wisking me away with her on that adventure, and though I was just 4-years-old, certain memories from that time are forever imprinted in my memory. it's no wonder where my renegade alter-ego comes from. :) i'm certain those of you who know her are smiling and nodding your head.
the opportunity to help lead this trip came as a bit of a surprise. my sister, Tiffany, was planning on going on this trip since the beginning of the year. when she told me about it, i was so excited for her to experience God outside of our country. and if i'm honest, i was also a bit jealous. quietly, of course... like all good Christians.
i didnt do much international travel until after i started college. growing up, i had always dreamed of going to europe... in fact, i even remember making a detailed argument in high school for why my parents should have let me study in paris when i just 15. haha. yea... that didnt get me far. but the idea of traveling somewhere other than europe or some tropical destination never crossed my mind. and when i heard others talk about it, i secretly hoped God would never MAKE me do something like THAT.
for so many reasons (that i wont get into right now) that changed when i was 20. in fact, it completely reversed. suddenly, i couldnt wait to be living in a stinky orphanage for the better part of my summer. and i even began to feel bad for people that didnt have the same raging desire as me be apart of places like that. . . initially, and somewhat accidentally, my enthusiasm turned to pride. i had become so absolutely passionate about going and why i was going and why it was the best thing for me to be doing with myself - that i wanted the same thing for everyone around me, forgetting, the best thing for me to be doing doesnt always translate as the best thing for everyone to be doing. go figure.
God, in His gentle way, gave me a few doses of humble pie in the midst of that. for the next 3 years my passion continued to grow.... but somewhere along the way, i found myself at the center of my own world again. the beginning of this year, it hit me how much i'd lost sight of the big picture. i was craving to get those priorities back in focus...while i feared my own foolish distractions had left me out of the loop, i was still desperate to reconnect, though i was sure i wasn't deserving.
enter: grace.
does the Lord ever blow you away by opening doors we don't deserve?
i wasnt expecting the invitation to help lead my sister's youth trip... i dont even attend her church. but it turned out, one of the female leaders couldnt go any longer, and they needed to fill her position. my heart was elated.
i spent 3 1/2 years doing youth leadership with Rock Harbor (which i absolutely loved). and i've had some good experience with international travel. but never have i combined them. . . boy did it add an entirely new element to the adventure... :)
